Take responsibility

Sometimes when you are wondering why you aren't getting anywhere, you want to make an excuse - and too often you do. And in this case, I'd love to say that it is just me making an excuse, but it's not. It is a reason. Work sucks right now. And every now and then you get a day dropped in your lap like a meteor into the Cretaceous.

Yesterday I get up at 5am to go and have a morning training session for BJJ. No one shows. I wander back to where I parked and get changed into my work clothes in an underground carpark at 6:20 in the morning. Not a great start to the day. I then manage to spend 12 hours at work - somehow not going completely mad in the process, despite spending 3 hours in meetings. Finally I get home at nearly 8pm. Some 14 hours plus since I left home. Neither my wife or I can be bothered cooking when we arrive home and didn't have any back-up plan, so we order pizza, eat it, feel like shit and then go to bed.

That, is not a day that is great for weight-loss. But with the exception of missing training that has been a fairly accurate represenation of many of my days of late. Long hours, rarely at home and eating shit because you're too tired to do anything good. My job is sedentary. And no matter how many times you walk to the printer, it's just not what the body needs. You can try and get out at lunchtime for a quick walk, but it is usually barely enough to get you through the day. And with the training session you were counting on being mysteriously vacant from your schedule then - we'll, you're fucked is the long and the short of it.

But then you have to take responsibility some time. Did I have to order pizza? No. I could have made something - but I chose not to. Could I have gone out and done some other excercise at the end of the day? Yes. But again, I chose not to.

So I'm structuring a new plan.

Each day I'll have a set number of tasks which I must complete before going to bed. This will include not just excercise but also basic household chores etc to make sure that at the very least our weekends aren't spent catching up on laundry and dishes left over from the week. I'll also go back to keeping a food diary as a "second thought"/"guilt inducing" method of keeping track of what's going in.

Weekly, I'll be posting updates on my progress as well as no doubt raving about how much I hate it.

But as I said at the very start. I've got to do it. And this isn't something that you can delegate. And I'm sick of procrastinating.